Are desires wrong, or are they key to healing?

Society and various paradigms like to tell us if our desires are right or wrong. In the universe, there’s no right or wrong in terms of desires. It just is.

Our desires allow us grow, to evolve, to be. What pains us is us running around in our trauma believing that what we truly desire is wrong or that we don’t deserve to/can’t have what it is that we want. When one tells another that his/her wanting, desires for life, for a partner, for work is wrong, from one’s own limited perspective, one is ignorant. In other words, one is subconsciously imposing one’s agenda and beliefs onto another and preventing another’s evolution.

An outsider cannot invalidate one’s desires, and tell one what one’s missing experiences are without knowing one’s past lives, soul purpose, trauma, current life, desires, and predisposition.

It is only through one’s pursuit of what one’s wants that one evolves. And only one will know what is best for one because one’s subconscious mind will actively seek experiences that remind one of one’s missing experiences. Healing is to experience such missing experiences in one’s life.

And perhaps pursuing our desires is to experience such missing experiences. This is why healing and desires go ahead — our desires lead us to understanding our missing experiences, and when we deeply realise that we can and are deserving to have our missing experiences (i.e. our desires) met, we heal. When we settle for others’ expectations, and not truly pursue our heart’s callings, we stall. We feel stuck.

We run around in circles — part of us know deep down that we are “settling” and another part is scared to take the leap into the unknown. So, we are torn. We start asking questions like “What if I could actually do that? What if there’s a more compatible partner for me? What if… What if…” And then, we tell ourselves, “What am I thinking? I don’t deserve it. I’m asking for too much.”

This voice is an amalgamation and internalisation of voices from our childhood, parents, ancestors — but we have recognise that such voices are not ours.

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This split is what causes us pain and suffering.

And even if we try numb such pain through addictions like alcohol, drugs, work, etc, such pain still shows up — as that longing, that wanting emotionally, or as aches in your body. And the pain is there as guidance, to get back on track to what we truly desire.

The pain is actually our friend, not our enemy.

Why? Because our intuition and voice are steady, persistent, and our soul loves us so much that the voice will always be there, even if we try to shut it down, even if we numb ourselves and resist our pain.

Because not being able to express ourselves and our truth is probably more painful than death. And some people may decide to end their lives because their truth is invalidated, not acknowledged — and they are not seen for who they are, and they don’t believe they can be seen for who they are.We can try to bypass that pain by using other spiritual paradigms such as I am ok what is, I don’t need anything. But again, that is a form of denial, “covered” in more covert and advanced way.

Because truly acknowledging and going for what we want can be very scary, and perhaps painful.

Because deep down, we know that by truly pursuing our desires we may have to face our truth heads on and unwind our societal, parental and ancestral conditioning. And we are scared — to lose our idea and concepts of what we thought was true and “good”, and our “foundation” built by our old paradigms.

However our soul loves us so much that even if we don’t pursue our desires, our subconscious will manifest experiences that leads to the destruction of our current paradigm so we pursue our desires. In face of such destruction, we have no choice but to face our pain that we have buried.

So, set yourself free by owning your true desires, and giving yourself the permission to pursue them. This way, you are no longer a prisoner of your beliefs. You are free — free to pursue what it is that you’ve always wanted, and perhaps the mission/purpose of your current life. When you do so, you are breaking your own jail bars you set for yourself.