7 tips on how to practise surrendering… Why surrendering your goals can help you with self-love and achieving your goals
How to practise surrendering… We sometimes try to control outcomes out of fear of losing control. While some aspects of life are within our control, many are not. The practice of surrendering can be daunting for the ego that craves control.
However, much of what you desire may lie in the unknown, making surrender essential for achieving your goals. The practice of surrendering involves letting go of resistance and accepting reality as it unfolds, without attachment to the specific outcomes your mind envisions.
When you release your preconceived notions and mental constructs, you open yourself to the unknown.
As Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”
The solutions to your challenges often exist at a higher level of consciousness than your current understanding.
Surrendering is where all possibilities reside, though it can be terrifying. This is a process I’m still navigating, as I too struggle with control.
Like yoga, the practice of surrendering requires consistent practice—often spanning decades or even lifetimes. While articulating these concepts may be easy, putting them into action can be much more challenging.
While the concept of surrendering is complex, I’ve included a few tips on how to practise surrendering, if you’re curious.
7 Tips on how to practise surrendering
#1: Connect to the Deep “I”
The practice of surrendering requires faith—a profound trust in the deeper “I,” which is far more expansive than our minds can grasp. This essence can be referred to as Source, God, or the essence of all that is, was, and will be.
Connecting to this deeper “I” anchors you in something greater than yourself, alleviating fear. As fear dissipates, trust emerges, enabling you to surrender to the flow of life.
Various spiritual practices, such as yoga, meditation, and breathwork, can help you access this inner space. I’ve found psychedelics like 5-MeO-dmt to be effective for this connection, provided they are used with practitioner or shaman with high level of skills and integrity.
However, even after profound experiences of connecting with the deeper “I,” maintaining that trust in a world filled with duality can be challenging. Old thought patterns may resurface, bringing fears and doubts to the forefront.
This is why a daily practice of meditation, hot yoga, deep breathing, or connecting with nature can help you tap into the deeper “I.” Other tools, such as cacao, rapé, and microdosing, can also be beneficial.
By practicing mindfulness, you cultivate a state of presence that allows you to observe your thoughts and feelings without attachment or judgment.
#2: Examine & Transform Your Relationship with Authority
Trusting yourself and the universe is essential for the practice of surrender…
However, simply telling someone to “surrender and trust the universe” often falls short. It can be difficult to anchor into this deeper “I,” especially when we carry emotional baggage from childhood and ancestral lineage.
We often project our ideas of authority onto the universe. If you felt unsafe growing up, you may have developed beliefs such as “nothing works out” or “authority (the universe) is here to punish me.”
In such cases, having faith and deep trust in the “I” (the universe) can be particularly difficult unless you have a sudden awakening or profound spiritual experience.
Learning to trust and surrender involves addressing past trauma and redefining your relationship with authority, ultimately fostering trust in the universe.
To begin this process, consider asking yourself:
- What are your current views of the universe?
- How do these views relate to your upbringing?
- What messages did your parents convey about the world? Did they express distrust or fear?
#3: Embrace Your Disowned Parts & Emotions
A key step in the process of surrender is becoming aware of your feelings.
Surrendering involves allowing emotions to flow through you without attachment.
This requires grieving what was and fully experiencing your emotions. Engaging in shadow work means embracing your fears and disowned parts, especially when triggered.
Instead of clinging to these emotions, act as an observer while giving yourself permission to feel them fully, regardless of whether they seem beautiful or ugly. Acknowledge your feelings, desires, and circumstances without judgment.
#4: Love Yourself
Ultimately, surrendering is rooted in self-love. By embracing all aspects of yourself through shadow work and parts work, you enhance your self-worth and come to understand that you don’t need to prove your value to anyone or the universe; you are inherently loved and worthy.
This inner work fosters a deeper sense of self-love, which transforms your relationship with both the universe and your desires. Often, a lot of what we attempt to manifest from the place of fear is rooted in the desire to gain love and approval from others.
When you start the process of reclaiming and integrating your disowned parts, you may notice a shift in your desires. You might find that you become less attached to them, allowing for a more authentic expression of what you truly want.
This newfound self-acceptance and clarity enable you to surrender to the flow of life, trusting that you are already enough just as you are.
#5: Allow Your Desires to Move Through You
This doesn’t mean you ignore your desires or deny having them—doing so is simply not possible. Instead, it’s about acknowledging your desires as they flow through you, understanding that these aspirations from Source are merely passing through the “little” you.
In this context, the “I” represents something infinitely greater than the “you.”
You can express this awareness through movement, such as dance, allowing your body to embody and release these desires while connecting to the vastness of your true self.
#6: Take Inspired Action & Let Go
Do all that you can, take inspired actions, and then let go—give things space to be. This is where the surrendering part comes in because some things are truly out of your control.
True surrender is an active state of allowing. It isn’t just about being passive and waiting for the universe to hand you something. It does not mean becoming apathetic or inactive.
Rather, it means releasing attachment to specific results while remaining engaged in the flow of life, recognising that some factors are beyond your control and that clinging onto expectations can lead to suffering.
It’s about taking inspired action from a place of alignment to your true self, recognising and accepting your current reality without resistance while also being open to the flow of life.
#7: Lastly… and most importantly… LOVE the part of you that is afraid to let go and wants to control:
Just like in yoga, there may be times when you find yourself falling out of your “pose.” It’s okay to want to control; love the part of you that is afraid to let go.
By embracing all your emotions and acknowledging your disowned parts including your fear of letting go of control, you are already learning to surrender.
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