I have been thinking of you, and I want to share with you an update, as well as a transformative lesson I’ve learned in the last few weeks.
While I loved sharing recipes and interviews with wellness experts with you, I’m going to get a bit up close and personal in this post.
One Friday night at 12:30 AM a few weeks ago, a friend invited me to go on a night car ride with him. The adventure spirit in me jumped onto the opportunity and said yes.
As we were driving through the quiet streets in the Mission district in San Francisco, an unexpected drunk driver sped through an intersection — without stopping.
My friend hit the brake, but it was too late.
In an instant, the drunk driver’s truck slammed into the front of my friend’s car… hard.
In that instant, I could only surrender.
The impact was horrific. Airbags fired. The front of the car was “crumpled”: His beautiful race car turned into a piece of scrap metal… instantly.
The drunk driver tried to escape. Cops came. Ambulance came.
Extraordinarily luckily, my friend and I are fine, minus the painful bruises, whiplash, soreness, his totalled car…
And to say that I was quite panicked was an understatement.
To be honest, I am still recovering from the accident.
Little did I know that the car accident served as a wake-up call, as well as signified a chapter to a new way of being.
There is so much I could say about this event, which was one of the most transformative experience of my life to date. This event transformed me.
But, let me cut right to the chase and share with you one piece of wisdom I learned from this experience.
When I woke up the day after the car accident, I was so sore I couldn’t move my upper body.
I felt like my body “betrayed” me, and was quite frustrated because even simple motions like getting a cup of water was so painful.
But I refused to ask for help from my friends and closed ones because I didn’t think anyone would really care.
Days after the accident, I felt extremely vulnerable, lost, and scared. Tears kept pouring.
I had to cancel my plans, because my body needed a rest. I slept in and recovered for days.
Luckily, I was fortunate enough to meet a healer who helped me realign my body.
As my healer worked on me, flashbacks and memories of past trauma came up.
The car accident triggered deep-seated memories stored in cells of my body… so I could deal with them heads-on.
As I released my past hurts, my healer also helped me realise this important realisation:
“I am supported. I need to let go of the story that I need to do everything myself.”
The pain stored in my body was a manifestation of believing that I need to be self-sufficient because I didn’t believe I would be supported by the universe.
In the past 20-odd years, I’ve mainly learned to activate my sympathetic system, and I was constantly on a “fight-or-flight” mode without realising this.
I’ve been distrusting and resisting others because I did not trust myself, did not trust that my needs could be met by people around me. I felt unworthy to have my needs met by others.
My healer helped me see that I am worthy of support, and that it is healthy to learn that we can depend on others, ask for what we need, and trust that people can meet our needs if we allow this.
And by trusting that our needs can be met by others, because we live in an inter-dependent universe, we can learn to surrender and manifest our dreams and goals in a way that we would have never imagined.
By realising that I attract people and events into my life as a reflection of my relationship to myself, I take responsibility for what I create in my reality.
Now back to you, can you trust that you are supported by the universe and that your needs can be met… by others?
I’m still learning.